Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.- Step Eleven, Alcoholics Anonymous
For some of us, the word “meditation” conjures images of silent, shaven-headed monks who are unattainably pious and perfect. People completely unlike us. Some of us hear the word and feel a sense of dread or defeat or immediately start itching and fidgeting with all the pent-up movements we’re not “allowed” to do during meditation. For many of us - who have spent years using substances to drown out our own thoughts - the idea of sitting quietly, alone with ourselves, is downright terrifying.
Newcomers to meditation might find an inexplicable urge to resist or procrastinate. They say things like “I don’t think I’m doing it right.” Or “I don’t understand meditation.” Or, the most absurd statement of all: “I can’t meditate.”
Benefits of Meditation
Regardless of our personal blocks or criticism of meditation, there are few things that have such enormous mental and physical benefits to all people. Meditation:
Lowers respiration, relaxes muscles and calms the mind.
Reduces stress and can improve anxiety.
Is free.
Requires no specialized training or expensive equipment.
Can be done anywhere by virtually anyone.
For people in recovery, in particular, meditation is actually part of the 12 Steps. So, like other aspects of our recovery program that we’re reluctant or fearful of, we need to approach meditation with open-mindedness and willingness.
Meditation is not as complex or frightening as some people assume. Let’s demystify meditation and see how accessible it is.
Key Principles for Meditating
All meditation encourages mindfulness, which means being fully aware and engaged with the activity you’re currently doing. In this case, that means focusing your attention on meditating.
Try to reduce outside distractions. TV off, phone off. Calm, soothing music (without words) is appropriate, as long as it’s not distracting.
Set aside time every day or several times a week for meditation. Put it in your calendar, and stick with it. Early on, your main goal will be to establish a habit that will make meditation a consistent part of your life.
Whatever time you set for your meditation, stick with it. For example, if you set a timer for five minutes, and after three minutes you’re bored, don’t just give up. Follow through.
Whatever experiences you have, observe them without judgment.
Meditation for newbies
If you’ve never tried meditating, here’s a simple practice to try:
Find a comfortable position, usually seated (in a chair or on the floor). Standing is ok too.
Close your eyes or let your gaze rest on something with a soft focus.
Imagine your head is a helium balloon and your spine is the string tied to it so your head floats above your long spine the entire time.
Bring your awareness to your breath and follow it in and out. Don’t try to change it, just watch it. Some people like to use silent words to hold their attention. You can try the Buddhist mantra “so” (on inhale) - “hum” (on exhale) or “let” (on inhale) “go” or - from DBT - “wise” (on inhale) “mind” (on exhale).
Do it for two or three or five minutes.
There you go! You’ve meditated.
Common Questions
One of the most common questions people wonder when they first start meditating is “am I doing it right?” The answer is yes. Always, yes. Because there is no right or wrong way to meditate as long as you’re being quiet and mindful and taking time away from the busy distractions of life.
Another common question is, “why don’t I feel euphoric?” or “when am I going to have an epiphany?” or “was that a spiritual experience?” Basically, we expect to feel something dramatic and life-changing. But the truth is: that’s exceedingly rare. Meditation can change your life, but slowly, over time. Making meditation a consistent part of your daily routine is more valuable than any rare, dramatic experience of enlightenment or euphoria.
Why is meditation so helpful for recovery?
In 12-Step programs, meditation helps us “get out of our own way,” to quiet our thoughts so we can tune-in to God’s will for us. Then, we are less susceptible to selfishness, self-seeking and fear - the kinds of things that lead us into trouble.
Another thing we learn from meditating is how to watch or witness our thoughts. When we do this frequently, we start to recognize that we are not our thoughts (just like we aren’t our bodies). We also become aware of the difference between thoughts and actions. Thus, we can get practice at not acting on every thought that comes into our minds.
Ways to Meditate
There are more ways to meditate than there are fish in the ocean. Here are a few ways that can be very approachable for newcomers and people who have a hard time being still.
Walking Meditation
Hard to sit still? No problem, you can still meditate. Find a quiet, safe place to walk, like a park or a backyard. Bring your awareness to your feet. Walk as slowly as you can, as if you’re a video on slow-motion. Fine-tune your senses, and pay attention to every physical movement required for each step. Notice your sensory experiences. What do you hear? Feel? See?
Guided Meditation
Probably the most accessible way to start meditating is through guided meditation. You can find CDs and downloads at the library. There are numerous free and paid apps for your smartphone that allow you to meditate anywhere you go, whenever you want with an auditory guide. Do a free trial before purchasing anything.
Alternatively, you can find in-person meditation classes or groups in your community. Good places to find these are at yoga studios, Buddhist centers and local libraries.
Watch-Your-Thoughts Meditation
In meditation, many people get frustrated at the “monkey mind,” the way thoughts come into our heads and jump around even when we’re trying to focus on something else. Instead of fighting against that very natural human behavior, this type of meditation leans into it.
Sit quietly and comfortably and breathe deeply. Let your thoughts do what they will, go where they will. Don’t judge your thoughts. Don’t even try to understand or interpret them. Just follow them and notice them.
Now, draw your awareness to who is noticing your thoughts. Are your thoughts noticing themselves? Is there someone else in your brain doing the watching? This is known as the eternal Self, the part of you that is unchanging no matter what’s going on in your brain, your body or the physical world. It can also be called “purusa,” the eyes, or awareness, in your symbolic heart.
This meditation really helps us understand that we are not our thoughts. Take a moment to let that sink in. We. Are. Not. Our. Thoughts.
What a relief! What a life-changing understanding, brought about by meditation.
Questions? Comments? Personal experiences? Tell us in the ‘comments.’