Embracing Empathy and Avoiding Judgement
Recovery Tools from Asana Recovery September 27, 2023
APRIL 1958
AA Thought for the Day
BY: CHIT-CHAT
A BETTER WAY THAN JUDGING a man is to look for all the good you can find in him. If you look hard enough and long enough, you ought to be able to find some good somewhere in every man. In AA I learned that my job was to try to bring out the good, not to criticize the bad. Every alcoholic is used to being judged and criticized. That has never helped him to get sober. In AA we tell him he can change. We try to bring out the best in him. We encourage his good points and ignore his bad points as much as possible. Men are not converted by criticism.
Once we have some experience in the 12 Steps, we often catch ourselves “taking another person’s inventory” or being judgemental or critical of others. Even if we never speak or act on our judgments, this kind of negative internal dialog is usually not conducive to the peace of mind we’re seeking. Even worse, criticizing others often masks deep insecurities or personal criticism, either conscious or unconscious.
Letting Go of Judgment Towards Ourselves and Others
It's all too easy to slip into the habit of judging ourselves and those around us. Whether it's comparing our successes to others, critiquing our bodies, or passing judgments based on appearances, this tendency can take a toll on our mental well-being and hinder our ability to build meaningful connections. However, by cultivating empathy, understanding, and a compassionate mindset, we can break free from the cycle of judgment and create a more harmonious and fulfilling existence. And, in 12-Step work, obliterating our judgments is necessary if we are to be helpful for anyone trying to recover from addiction.
Recognize the Power of Self-Awareness
The first step towards stopping self-judgment is to develop self-awareness. Reflect on your thoughts and beliefs, identifying patterns of negative self-talk or unrealistic expectations. Remember, we are all imperfect beings, and it's vital to accept our flaws without harsh judgment. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself as you would a dear friend, offering understanding and support.
Challenge Assumptions
Judging others often stems from making assumptions based on limited information. Instead, try to adopt a curious mindset and seek to understand different perspectives. Engage in active listening, empathizing with others' experiences, and recognizing that everyone has their own unique journey. By challenging assumptions, we open the door to deeper connections and reduce judgment.
Practice Empathy
Empathy is a powerful tool in combating judgment. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and strive to comprehend their emotions, struggles, and motivations. Cultivate empathy by actively listening, asking open-ended questions, and showing genuine interest in others' stories. By fostering empathy, we can build bridges of understanding and compassion.
Cultivate Gratitude and Appreciation
Judgment often arises from a focus on what is lacking or different. Shift your perspective by practicing gratitude and appreciation for both yourself and others. Recognize and celebrate your own achievements, strengths, and unique qualities. Similarly, acknowledge and appreciate the strengths and accomplishments of others, fostering a positive and accepting mindset.
Embrace Diversity and Individuality
Each person is a complex tapestry of experiences, beliefs, and values. Embrace diversity by acknowledging and celebrating the differences that make us unique. Understand that these differences do not diminish our worth but enrich our collective human experience. Instead of judging, choose to appreciate and learn from the diversity that surrounds us.
Let Go of Comparison
Constantly comparing ourselves to others can be detrimental to our self-esteem and lead to judgment. Remember, everyone's journey is different, and comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. Focus on your own growth, set realistic goals, and celebrate your progress. By letting go of comparison, you allow yourself to thrive and appreciate the uniqueness of others.
Breaking free from the habit of self-judgment and judgment towards others is a transformative process that requires patience, self-awareness, and a commitment to empathy. By cultivating empathy, challenging assumptions, embracing diversity, and practicing gratitude, we can free ourselves to be helpful to others in recovery. And that helps keep us sober too.
Questions? Comments? Personal experiences? Tell us in the ‘comments.’