Practice Makes Perfect. Naw.
Practice makes you well-practiced. You learn new behaviors in every new experience.
New behavior has to be learned in all relevant contexts.
- DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets by Marsha M. Linehan (Dialectal Behavior Therapy)
Maybe you’re starting to feel somewhat confident about staying sober? That’s great! Or maybe you still feel tentative and nervous, as if you’re a toddler just learning to walk. That’s totally natural and understandable. Either way, it’s helpful to remember that every situation you face while sober is a new experience.
“New behavioral skills have to be practiced in the situations where the skills are needed, not just in the situation where the skills are first learned.” (DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets by Marsha M. Linehan)
At Asana Recovery, you probably learned how to be sober in a residential setting. Then, you used those skills in an outpatient program with the support of Asana Rcovery. Finally, you returned to your previous life (or a rebuilt, reenvisioned life), incorporating the new behaviors you learned in your day-to-day activities.
Every situation is an opportunity to learn new behaviors
Your first sober sexual experience.
Doing your job without the crutch of a substance that once helped you.
A night on the town without using.
Facing a tragedy without something to numb the feelings.
Your first sober wedding.
In the recovery process, you’ll be learning how to stay sober all over again every time you face a new experience. And, sometimes, depending on the situation and your history of substance use, you’ll have to learn over and over again.
In recovery, especially early recovery, it’s important to remember this for two reasons:
To be gentle and forgiving of yourself as you face life without substances, sometimes stumbling and making mistakes.
To approach situations with appropriate caution and safety nets in place, keeping your new behaviors and sobriety foremost in your mind.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, this would be called staying “humble” or “right-sized.” It’s important that we never become cocky or overconfident, believing ourselves “cured” or our addictions.
Living life with a sense of (cautious) discovery
But, there’s another, more exciting element to this! You have the opportunity to approach life with a sense of discovery, with the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You get to consciously create and respond to life like it’s brand new, with clear sight and open hands and hope for a sober future.
What experiences have you had learning recovery in new situations or making sober discoveries? Share them in the comments!