The Importance of Forgiveness
Forgiveness of Others, and Yourself, Is Crucial for Recovery
Anger can harm your health; it has been linked to high blood pressure, high cortisol levels, and heart attacks. Deep resentment can also prevent you from experiencing happy emotions and seeing things clearly. It can also make you feel like a victim, as it allows someone who has already harmed you to have the power to do so again. Other times, it blinds us to how we have harmed others and makes it difficult for us to accept responsibility for our mistakes.
Forgiveness is a major aspect of recovery because when you remain angry at the people who have hurt you in the past, you’re inflicting new suffering on yourself. In recovery, you are granted the power to confront and let go of your anger. It’s important to remember that forgiving others isn’t something you do for them but rather it is something you do for yourself.
Forgiveness is a spiritual notion that involves deciding to stop being angry. By taking this stance, you can stop investing energy in prolonging your suffering.
While the notion of being able to "forgive and forget" is common, consider that forgiveness in recovery isn't the same as forgetting. Rather, it's about moving ahead and learning from mistakes and challenges. You're not absolving yourself of any wrongdoings you may have committed or of responsibility for them, rather, you're absolving yourself of carrying that feeling forward. In this sense, words like "awareness" and "acceptance" are better suited to the concept of forgiveness in recovery than “forgetting.” When you let go of what doesn't benefit you, your recovery, or anyone else in your life, you're also letting go of what is keeping you from healing.
Oftentimes, you can forgive others who have hurt or wronged you, but you might forget that the most important person to forgive is yourself. Think of forgiveness as a gift you’re giving to yourself when you’re ready to move forward. This requires some reflection. To understand and let go of your pain and negative emotions, it is important to first comprehend them. Try to work toward clarity; ignoring or downplaying your emotions will only make them worse. Recognizing and releasing them can assist you in letting go. This isn't going to be easy. To completely heal, you need to make a complete commitment, but the results will be worth the effort.