“Flaws in our makeup,” “defects of character,” “liabilities.”
These are some of the words that the AA program uses to describe the negative characteristics of alcoholics. Far from intending to make us feel bad about ourselves, the goal in recovery is to be willing to look at our weaknesses - the things that led us to abuse substances or act out in other unhealthy ways - in order to right past wrongs and prevent future misbehavior.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls this a “fact-finding and fact-facing process.”
What are defects?
Quite simply, “defects” are simply human instincts gone awry. We’re not meant to feel guilty for having needs and desires: This is part of being human.
“Creation gave us instincts for a purpose…So these desires - for the sex relation, for material and emotional security, and for companionship - are perfectly necessary and right, and surely God-given,” reads The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous.
But, when our instincts become out of proportion with all the other things necessary for healthy and fulfilling lives, then the healthy human desires for sex, financial security and safety can “powerfully, blindly, many times subtly… drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives.”
According to the Twelve and Twelve, “nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct. When that happens, our great natural assets, the instincts, have turned into physical and mental liabilities.”
When do instincts become liabilities?
The Big Book breaks down natural instincts into four main categories:
Relationships (and sex relations)
Self-Esteem
Security (physical safety and social acceptance)
Ambitions (financial success)
Remember, none of these things is “bad,” in and of itself. When the satisfaction of our desires for sex, money or stature takes on outsized importance in our lives, our instincts have become liabilities. When our efforts to satisfy our needs are impeded and we respond with fear or resentment, our life-promoting instincts have become liabilities.
Why do our defects matter?
Nearly every human being has trouble, at times, with misdirected instincts. For people without the life-threatening disease of addiction, character defects might simply cause some conflict or annoyance.
The Big Book describes us differently: “But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings, we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.”
The most common character defects listed in the Big Book are: selfishness, self-seeking, resentment and fear, but there are probably many more. Left unchecked, these things cause us to act out, whether through relapse into addiction or a “dry drunk” (bad behavior in conflict with our goal of spiritual growth.)
What do we do with our defects (“liabilities,” “flaws”)?
Your intention might be to follow the Big Book instructions of doing a moral inventory/daily inventory, followed later by asking God to remove your shortcomings and making amends for your wrongs. Or, you may choose to take a direct approach through something like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) or work with an individual therapist to consciously identify when you’re acting on your defects and replace those behaviors with positive alternatives. Or, you may choose a combination of approaches. No matter what, three things are important to keep in mind:
Our character defects have caused us to drink/use or act out in other harmful ways in the past - and probably will again.
We need to find a way - or ways - to change these defects.
The first step for change is to become aware of the problem. Get curious about yourself. Become aware. Shine a light on how your thinking works.
Remember, nobody is perfect. We will never be completely freed of our defects. Our goal is to work to balance our natural instincts with our recovery and spiritual growth.
Have you learned anything valuable about your defects that might help others in recovery? Share them in the comments!