Our Common Welfare: Using the 12 Traditions to Improve Our Lives
Recovery Tools from Asana Recovery, June 14, 2023
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. - Step 12, Alcoholics Anonymous
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says: “we have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol.” And, once we’ve tasted the peace that comes with a spiritual connection and freedom from our addiction, many of us want to be able to enjoy that same feeling in our professional or family lives. We want the same freedom from fear and selfishness - to cease fighting - at work and at home too - not just in our 12 Step meetings.
The final step in AA’s program of recovery challenges us to use the spiritual tools that helped us get sober to improve the rest of our lives, as well. Many people find that the 12 Steps are just as beneficial in other aspects of our lives as they are in helping us find relief from addiction. However, sometimes it’s not as evident how to use the 12 Steps in regard to work problems or relationship conflicts. At those times, it can be helpful to turn to the 12 Traditions of AA for guidance.
Tradition One: Our Common Welfare Should Come First
AA members know that the second part of Tradition One is: “Personal recovery depends upon AA unity.” The Al-Anon program phrases this part slightly differently: “Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.” This slight change can make the tradition more applicable in workplace or family settings where sobriety is not the only goal.
The Al-Anon book, Reaching for Personal Freedom, describes common welfare this way: “I look for a solution that is good for everyone when I seek common welfare. I try to find the balance between what I want or need and what is good for the whole. I am just one part, and the common good outweighs my individual desires.”
No matter what we’re doing out in the world, we’re usually a member of a team with a common purpose. Whether supporting the common purpose of an AA group, a family or a workplace, we are just one part of the whole. And we will find more personal peace - and often more efficacy - if we can apply Tradition One to our actions. So, how do we do that?
Common Welfare at Work
Wherever you work, you’ll find you have at least two priorities: Your personal job duties and the “duty” (product, service, etc.) of the entire organization or company. Sometimes, the two priorities fit seamlessly and sometimes they almost seem to conflict with each other. Additionally, there are personal relationships (with coworkers and customers) that may or may not be a direct part of either of the previous duties but are always still a component of work. So, how do you find a way to balance both duties and the personal relationships involved?
Reaching for Personal Freedom makes the following suggestion: “I encourage the common welfare at work by being dependable, knowing and completing my tasks, not taking over someone else’s job, maintaining a positive attitude, keeping my opinions to myself - unless asked for, and not participating in office gossip. When I do my part, the work environment is more likely to be positive and productive.”
Common Welfare at Home
At home, you may find that “common welfare” is clearer than at work or your 12-Step group. Or, it might seem even more muddled! Is it to have fun together? Is it to keep the home functioning and financially stable? Is everyone supposed to live in the same house while focusing on personal priorities like school, work or recovery? It can be useful to have a family discussion about what your common welfare is. What is your family’s purpose to which everyone can contribute?
In regards to family, Reaching for Personal Freedom says: “I strengthen the common welfare at home by keeping my obligations, being trustworthy and reliable, and not engaging in any action that is harmful to my family. There is not always harmony. I have a responsibility, however, to share my feelings honestly to avoid being hurt, angry, and resentful.”
This last part is tricky coming from working the 12 Steps, where we focus on “our part” in any conflict and use tools or prayer to remove our hurt feelings and resentments. That’s valuable - and a good place to start! But there’s a final consideration to factor in: “When I take care of myself, I am supporting the common welfare of everyone.”
It’s not unusual for a family, recovering from the trauma of active addiction, to find that life is not “happily ever after” just because the most obvious problem has been removed. Give yourself and your loved ones time and patience to heal. And, if you need help, don’t hesitate to reach out for helpful resources like family therapy or get plugged into local 12 Step meetings to build a support network with other local families.
Our work on ourselves does not end when we get sober. In some ways, it’s only just beginning. Now, that our addictions are out of the way, we can focus on the work of improving our personal lives, our work environment and our family life. It sounds like a tall order, but fortunately, the 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions have useful guidance for us to put into practice!
Questions? Comments? Personal experiences? Tell us in the ‘comments.’